What to expect

If you’re new to all this (and a surprising number of my clients are) you’ll probably be worried about how this all works. Will she phone me while I’m having dinner with my wife? Will she kiss ‘n’ tell? How does she get past hotel receptions? And an endless litany of other worries...

I prefer to make arrangements by email. Please be sure no-one else has access to the account you use – you can easily set up a Hotmail or Yahoo account, free of charge, for such illicit purposes! Before we meet in a hotel, I need to know the name under which you have booked and your mobile telephone number. This is because I will check with the hotel that you have registered (or at least, booked), and I will send you a text message to confirm our meeting on the day of the appointment. Ensure your phone alert is set to “Silent” or “Vibrate” rather than “Ride of the Valkyries by the Berlin Philharmonic in full polyphonic glory” for receiving text messages if you’re likely to be in a meeting. Please text your reply – if you currently can’t use text, I can give you basic instructions by email!

When I arrive at your hotel, I will call your mobile to get your room number, and meet you there. This avoids awkward meetings in the foyer featuring issues of the Zimbabwe Times clutched in shaking hands, and out-of-season buttonholes!

For a home visit, I need a little more information, both for practical purposes and for my own safety. I need your name and full address, including postcode (which I use to navigate via Streetmap and the AA) And I prefer a landline telephone number to check against your address, as well as a mobile number to text for confirmation a few hours before our meeting, as above. I will only call your landline with your permission, and then only if I’ve managed to get lost.

If things go well between us (and there’s no reason they shouldn’t) I do like to kiss and to cuddle, to stroke and be stroked, and I love oral sex, both giving and receiving, OWO but not CIM. (I have this gag reflex…) However, I’m most definitely not interested in pain, humiliation, BDSM, scat, watersports, or anal sex, which to me is a combination of most of the above. If you are uncertain whether you require these services because you are unfamiliar with the jargon, click here, here or here for further information.

I’m sorry but I cannot cater for fetishes without giggling helplessly, so those of you who are into shoes, spanking etc better stop here and spend your time more productively. http://www.altsex.org If you’d like to know more about what time spent with me is like, please check my Reports/Reviews page

E-mail me at caitlin@scottishcourtesan.co.uk